From your first essay, here is the collective feedback. What you are tasked with doing is see which feedback is applicable to your essay, and then self score your essay with the following rubrics:
|Solid||Need to work on|
|Titles are engagingintroductions are thoughtful and have leads, transitions, and theses
Voice – fun, hyperbole, detailed imagery,
Variety of topics and passions
|balance of logos and pathoshyphen is – and used for combining words ex: like-minded
em dash is — used as an appositive pause that is longer than a comma
ex: She rushed—beyond a dash, but not quite a sprint—to the door.
with quotes, periods always go inside, it is the American standard, European is different.
ex: she was “living it up”. (wrong) she was “living it up.” (thumbs up)
Source once said, “quote” – lose the once.
ex: Nabokov said, “quote” (#).
You—the general one—kill it.
Pacing—vary sentence length
Repetition—vary sentence beginnings
titles of books, movies, etc. are in Italics
Cut “I”s in half
Always, Never, etc. Use sparingly
Run on sentences: check punctuation and read each sentence out loud
tired phrases: come to light, bring to light, comes into play, throughout history, time, space, etc., Every human…
MLA Format: header, name and page #, font type and size
Write formally and informally for a variety of audiences
4 In addition to score 3.0 performance, the student demonstrates in-depth inferences and applications that go beyond what was taught.
3.5 in addition to score 3.0 performance, partial success at score 4.0 content
3 Students will write appropriately and successfully in a variety of genres, for a variety of audiences—including formal and informal settings.
2.5 No major errors or omissions regarding score 2.0 content and partial success at score 3.0 content
2 students will write both formally and informally for varying audiences
1.5 Partial success at score 2.0 content and major errors or omissions regarding score 3.0 content
1 With help, partial success at score 2.0 content and score 3.0 content
0 Even with help, no success
Generic AP Language and Composition Rubric
The score should reflect a judgment of the essay’s quality as a whole. Remember that students had only 40 minutes to read and write; the essay, therefore, is not a finished product and should not be judged by standards appropriate for an out-of- class assignment. Evaluate the essay as a draft, making certain to reward students for what they do well.
All essays, even those scored 8 or 9, may contain occasional lapses in analysis, prose style or mechanics. Such features should enter into the holistic evaluation of an essay’s overall quality. In no case may an essay with many distracting errors in grammar and mechanics be scored higher than a 2.
9 Essays earning a score of 9 meet the criteria for a score of 8 and, in addition, are especially sophis- ticated in their [analysis or argument], thorough in their development or impressive in their control of language.
Essays earning a score of 8 effectively [present the requirements of the prompt]. They develop their [analysis or argument] with evidence and explanations that are appropri- ate and convincing, [adhering to the requirements of the prompt]. The prose demonstrates a consistent ability to control a wide range of the elements of effective writing but is not neces- sarily flawless.
7 Essays earning a score of 7 meet the criteria for a score of 6 but provide more complete explanation, more thorough development or a more mature prose style.
Essays earning a score of 6 adequately [present the requirements of the prompt]. They develop their [analysis or argument] with evidence and explanations that are appropriate and sufficient, [adhering to the requirements of the prompt]. The writing may con- tain lapses in diction or syntax, but generally the prose is clear.
5 Essays earning a score of 5 [present the requirements of the prompt]. The evidence or explanations used may be uneven, inconsistent or limited. The writing may contain lapses in diction or syntax, but it usually conveys the student’s ideas.
Essays earning a score of 4 inadequately [present the requirements of the prompt]. These essays may misunderstand the passage, or fail to completely [present the requirements of the prompt]. The evidence or explanations used may be inappropriate, insuf- ficient or less convincing. The prose generally conveys the student’s ideas but may be less consistent in controlling the elements of effective writing.
3 Essays earning a score of 3 meet the criteria for a score of 4 but demonstrate less success in [pre- senting the requirements of the prompt]. They are less perceptive in their understanding of the pas- sage or [the requirements of the prompt], or the explanation or examples may be particularly limited or simplistic. The essays may show less maturity in control of writing.
2 Little Success
Essays earning a score of 2 demonstrate little success in [presenting the requirements of the prompt]. These essays may misunderstand the prompt, misread the pas- sage, fail to [present the requirements of the prompt], or substitute a simpler task by responding to the prompt tangentially with unrelated, inaccurate or inappropriate explanation. The prose often demonstrates consistent weaknesses in writing, such as grammatical problems, a lack of development or organization, or a lack of control.
1 Essays earning a score of 1 meet the criteria for a score of 2 but are undeveloped, especially siplistic in their explanation or weak in their control of language.
0 Indicates an on-topic response that receives no credit, such as one that merely repeats the prompt, or presents a narrative of a personal experience.
— Indicates a blank response or one that is completely off topic.